Why is Cheating More Acceptable Than Polygamy?
I was recently swiping through Tinder when I came across a woman that caught my attention. I was reading her bio in which she wrote about being in an open relationship and then had the question at the bottom; Why is cheating more acceptable than polygamy? I was struck. I have no answer for it. Why is it that way?
We as a society aren’t open enough or comfortable with that. It is an unacceptable behavior. Even if society was more accepting of it, it isn’t something that works for everyone. Treating others differently from this only shows a lack of understanding and accepting. I have never dated anyone, but those that I have seen I learned plenty. I am truly curious to see how more successful the long term bond with someone may be if you are open with one another about wanting to be with others.
I see the draw to being in an open relationship. Being able to love and learn from multiple people and give that back to them in an intimate way. It doesn’t always have to be all about sex. I have a lot of love to give and well it's going to be difficult for me to want to give it. It is interesting for me to think of giving it all to just one person. The main reason being that no one person has made me feel that way. I cherish my company so much.
Being polyamorous or in an open relationship is shamed. A person who falls in love with two people at the same time and maintains the two relationships their whole life will still be viewed as a slut. While someone who cheats on another either with a long term partner or by sleeping around with numerous partners is forgiven. Able to repeat the same acts. Whereas openly saying off the bat that you enjoy being with multiple people is viewed as wrong, shameful, or disloyal.
I have known of numerous relationships that were not monogamous. Some of which have worked out. The ones that had, there was a clear line of who was dating who. Yes, everyone is together, but I have seen men have a wife and a girlfriend and vice versa. In that instance the couple married is more committed to each other, but also wants to please their partner. I have had others where there were distinct treatment differences. One would feel treated more like a girlfriend while the other just a friend. A man is equally capable of feeling this same way. Jealousy will be a huge emotion to break through. If there is true love for both parties involved there shouldn’t be jealousy especially if you are comfortable with who you are and what you bring to the table. A person once told me; “I hate when women are jealous. They always think I am cheating.” The underlying motive needs to be more present. Do you want multiple people to sleep with? Or do you want to love and share a connection with multiple people?
It is unlikely to imagine a world without monogamous relationships. Western culture has placed significant value and importance on being in one. You are deemed as worthy and accepted if you have one. You’re viewed as a normal member of society especially if you have a long term one. As a woman I know I have spent countless hours wondering what that special someone is to me. We have a society where we place high value on our self worth of needing to find that person. It is mentally and physically so exhausting.
Whereas now I have had my independence my whole life so my need to find someone seems to be less of an importance for me. I have myself and know myself more each day.
Never having had anyone to call mine. It makes me wonder if I can have multiple people to love and still fulfill that sense of joy from being with one? I have no idea. I just learned that I would be potentially be interested in that. All the men I express that too are quite open and ok with it. Me expressing it in the beginning allows for there to be no confusion down the road.
I’m still trying to figure out how it would exactly work with having a family, but honesty and openness will probably be the reason it is successful. An interesting question that sparked a whole post. Why is cheating more acceptable?
